The Little (Search) Engine That Shouldn’t

I don’t know how you found me. Chances are, you know me and have heard me whining about how no one reads my blog (NO ONE READS MY BLOG!) so you clicked on it just out of curiosity, or pity, or maybe a little fear. But maybe you stumbled across it after typing something in to Google. Maybe you typed something COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS in Google and managed to find yourself here, in this twisted, whiny, bitchy little corner while I assault your eyes and brain with whatever is bothering and/or interesting me today. And maybe I like to read the list of search terms that WordPress keeps for me so that I can confirm that my readership at any given time is indeed the stone cold pack of weirdos that I believe you to be.

So I thought I’d share with you my ten favorite recent search phrases that somehow brought people straight here. I used to do this kind of a lot but that was back when I was blogging almost daily.

crazy bitch cashier coupon – The best kind of coupon!

turn laptop screen into disco light – Feed it to your puppy. That’s what I did.

what in space starts with f – Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. I have some ideas. Wildly inappropriate ones. Also I think F is my favorite letter.

it has come to our attention that someone is stealing lunches from the refrigeratorWORST. EVER.

internal transcribe spacer resign of fungus – English is a second language?

fetal pig dissection bingo – Not your grandma’s bingo!

“Camden Gilman” – I don’t know the man but I hear he’s a real asshat. Also the fact that you can Google Camden and get my blog seems like some kind of epic win on my part. Good for you, Mere. Good for you!

stan lee’s harpies download free – NERD! Also, I love you. Let me know if you found it.

wasted space on my laptop – Most of you have that right now! WINNING!

sea urchins at petting zooVery Bad Idea. But good if you don’t want to pay for collagen injections.

time wasted by “reply to all”All of it.


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