Keep It In Your Pants!

Ok: so I’ve been pretty good about working out lately and I just have to take a minute and check in and ask what the hell do people think before they put on some of the stuff they wear to work out?  I do a lot of yoga, for starters.  And sure, there’s the occasional dude who wears a Speedo to a hot yoga class and while I find it a little odd, they’re usually more like tiny (teeny tiny!) boyshorts and less like tighty whities and they tend to magically stay in place somehow so I can kind of let it go.  One trend I’m not on board with, though?  Wearing a “workout skirt” to a yoga class.

Certain stores (*cough*oldnavy*cough*) suddenly started selling skirts that are meant to be worn while you exercise.  I’m sorry, unless you’re playing tennis, I have to ask: What the hell?  They’re these little mini skirts that have built-in matching briefs or bloomers or whatever sewn in underneath.  They’re ridiculous.  I can’t imagine ANY workout where I would be excited about wearing a skirt.  In fact, I’m a big fan of capris rather than shorts, but for me it’s more of a comfort thing than anything else.  And these skirts do NOT seem comfortable!

For some reason, there is a certain type of girl who likes to wear these little skirts to do yoga.  Let me just tell you, when you’re standing on one leg and pulling the other foot up behind your head while wearing a skirt, the poor people behind you can see stuff.  And don’t think those bloomers are doing much to protect your modesty.  You bought that skirt at Old Navy, remember?  The 5 cents an hour that they paid an eight year old overseas* to construct those little bloomers may have helped you get a deal on your kewl new yoga skirt, but 5 cents an hour does not pay for high quality work.  Unfortch, this means that the garment is not doing you any favors in the “covering your junk” department.  You seriously just flashed your Britney at a room full of people who already felt like dying a little bit.

So pretty please, friends, do the world and your workout buddies a favor and consider the type of activity you will be doing when you choose your adorable little workout outfit.  If it involves humidity, sweat, and a lot of bendy, stretchy postures, maybe don’t wear a skirt.  That is all.

*I have no affiliation with Old Navy and may have guessed a little bit about their business and production processes.  I think a lot more stuff should be made in America, but as Ron Swanson says: “Child labor laws are ruining this country.”


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