Awesome Blossom, hold the “Awesome” (And the “Blossom,” Apparently)

So if you know me in real life – which, let’s face it, you probably do – you are no doubt aware of my ridiculous addiction to a certain chain restaurant that features giant peppers on the ceilings.  Yes, I mean Chili’s.  It was where D and I had “kind of our first date” and where Kate and Other Meredith and I spent hours (and hours and hours) complaining about bridezillas and flirting with waiters after long days at the DB.  Pretty much any time D and I didn’t feel like cooking we would just call in an order to go (That’s not sad, you’re sad.  Shut up!).  I blame Chilis for 55% of the weight that I actually carry on my body (the rest is skeleton and brain).  But the time has come to write the Chili’s breakup letter.  That’s right – it’s over.

Chili’s, how can you change my amazing turkey sammich from a turkey and swiss with garlic mayo stuff to whatever it is that you’re serving now?  Just slapping turkey between two pieces of bread is not acceptable.  Especially when it’s “rosemary bread.”  What the hell?  Why is there bacon on this?  And why is it sweet??  Something is clearly wrong.

Now what’s really sad (even for me) is that I keep forgetting how mad I am at Chili’s and going there anyway.  I’ve gotten that weird freaky sweet turkey sandwich TWICE now and both times I’ve been like “DAMMIT.” when it shows up because I forgot.  Sure, D gets bacon out of the deal, but what about my dinner?  Yuck.

So last time I went I vowed to try something new and I got some new salad thing, which turned out to be that crap white lettuce with some tangerines on it.  Impressive. Wait, what’s the opposite of impressive?

Anyway, the last straw is that the broccoli cheese soup(!!) and the Awesome Blossom(!!!!!!) are no longer on the menu.  Sorry, Chili’s, I can’t support an Awesome Blossomless world.  Two words: Lame Sticks.
Also, they put corn in their side salads now.  I don’t know about the rest of the world but for me that’s…unnatural.  And for Chili’s, that’s saying something!

So yeah, add “Chili’s” to the list of stuff I’ve quit.  (It’s item #2 under “The Bridal Shop.”)  And the temperature in hell dropped a few degrees…


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Clare
    Mar 11, 2010 @ 10:15:32

    At one point the woman who worked the to-go desk at the Chilis at Burnet and 183 knew me by name, and would comment when we changed our regular order. “Oh, going with the plain burger today?” We have since moved on to Applebees, but it’s just not the same.


  2. Specs
    Mar 12, 2010 @ 06:15:52

    LoL, interesting title. You had me ROFL from the word go 😀


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