What is it about me that screams "LIAR"?

Apparently there’s something because last weekend I had no fewer than five brides-to-be that stared me straight in the face and refused to believe that we had no open fitting rooms in the store. Yup, we have almost forty rooms, and we’ve got people in every single one of them trying stuff on. People with appointments or people who waited up to two hours to get into a fitting room, just like you’re going to. Here’s how a typical encounter with one of these freaks goes.

Mere: Hi, how can we help you today?
Crazy: I need a wedding gown (Insert story here about how she has one that doesn’t like or that she has ten favorites that she wants us to pull for her or that she is getting married in three weeks).
Mere: Ok, do you have an appointment today?
Crazy: No, I just want to try on dresses.
Mere: Well unfortunately this is our busiest time of the year so on the weekends all of our fitting rooms are assigned to consultants and right now they are all full with appointments and we’re working off of a waiting list. I can put you on the list but you are still looking at at least an hour long wait.
Crazy: I don’t need a consultant, I just want to try on dresses.
Mere: Thinking: Are you freaking kidding me, Crazy? I just told you what the deal is: I literally have no fitting rooms for you. They. Are. All. Full.
Mere: Says: I understand but as I was saying, there are no rooms available for you to try the dresses on in.
Crazy: Blinks
Mere: Thinking: You’re waiting for me to tell you you’re special, aren’t you? You want me to say “But for you, I’d be happy to bend all the rules, because you aren’t like those other people, you don’t have to make an appointment and wait in line!” Guess what bitch, YOU SUCK!
Mere: Says: I’d be more than happy to put you on the waiting list, then you can pull up to three dresses and as soon as we have a room for you we’ll page you.
Crazy: Insert passive aggressive (or sometimes just aggressive) comment here.

So Crazy registers, I put her on my list, and before you know it, she and her massive entourage (which may or may not include small children that are screaming and/or running away) have pulled about five dresses each and they are now trying to sneak into a fitting room. Really, Crazy? Did you not hear me when I told you that all our rooms are assigned to consultants? So the next thing Crazy knows, she’s been busted and Brit or Mel or LC or whatever poor consultant whose room she tried to take over is walking her back up to the front, explaining what I just told her and turning her back over to me, where I smile fakely and let her know it will just be another hour or so. Also, I hate you, Crazy.

Oh and of course when she finally gets a consultant with a room the poor consultant has to walk all 30 of her dresses back to the front because she pulled dresses that were 2 sizes too small. Have I told you lately how much I hate brides?

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. sassafrasjunction
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 15:53:00

    I would seriously like to set people like this on fire. I worked retail for ages and it nearly cost me my last shred of sanity.

    I love your blog! I am new to Humor Bloggers and am getting the lay of the land.

    Again, great post! Come by and see me if you get the chance. 🙂
    http://www.sassafrasjunction.wordpress.com

    Reply

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