Last First Day = Best First Day

Ohhh best first day of school EVER! The weirdness and FAILs started at 5:00 am and just never quit. Here’s the rundown:

5:15 AM, Cedar Park: COFFEE FAIL! I groggily wander in to the kitchen where my trusty coffee pot has brewed up a hot pot of some Austin Blend (bestcoffeeeverrrr). Except…what is this? There is like a teaspoon of coffee grounds in the bottom of the carafe? WTF?! I open the top of the coffee maker and LAUGH. Somehow my filter went retarded and it was all bunched up on itself. If you’ve heard my bajillions of weirdo coffeemaking stories before then…well, I guess you aren’t surprised by this one. 🙂

7:40 AM, San Marcos, LBJSC Parking Garage: PARKING FAIL! CRUNCH. Know what that sound is? It’s the sound my car makes when I back it into the wall of the LBJSC garage at 5 miles an hour. OOPS. As far as I can tell though the only damage done was a very small scrape on the bumper. Still, it made me feel like a geek.

7:57 AM, The Quad: FASHION POLICE I totally passed a girl in the Quad who was wearing the following outfit: black leggings under a hot pink knee-length skirt with a white button-down shirt under a cream-colored vest. Not a joke. Unfortunately I was too sleepy to whip out my phone and get a picture but I’m PRETTY SURE I am not making this up. When I texted the description to Katie, she wrote back: Oh! First day of school in 1985!

8:00 AM, Taylor-Murphy History Building: CAN’T GO THERE Yup there’s something ridiculously awesome about my 8:00 am class. I can’t put too many specifics here for fear of it maybe one day somehow weirdly working its way around to the wrong person who might take offense but I will just say: Milton Waddams and the Impressive Clergyman. Ask me in person if you need more details.

9:30 AM, Evans Liberal Arts Building: VAN WILDER It was bound to happen sometime. I wandered in to the wrong class. Liked what I heard. Stayed. Naw, what really happened was that I’d already had plans to drop my Development of English class in favor of a geography class so I planned to go to the geo class that I was going to register for as soon as registration came open BUT I did indeed wander in to the wrong class. But then there was this German guy with a great accent all “Welcome to Fundamentals of GIS!” so I figured…I can do GIS for a day. It’s part of my degree anyway. 😉

12:17 AM, ELA women’s bathroom: IMMEDIATE SOCIAL REJECT FAIL I didn’t even know that people do this but…there was seriously a girl at school with her MOM today. Yeah – IDK either. Like there they were going from class to class and the mom was carrying a big Bookstore bag and the girl had her backpack and everything. I thought I had trouble cutting the apron strings and going off to college but never EVER in all my fear and insecurity did I think for a second to ask my mom to come with me. Never. Ever. Ever.

2:00 PM, ELA: FASHION POLICE, PART TWO Chick walked in to my last class of the day wearing ill-fitting stretchy cuffed dark blue denim shorts. I mean, there are indeed worse things that someone could wear to class. What made this a fashion fail was the white button-up sleeveless shirt she wore with it. It had all different color stripes on it and it was…TUCKED IN. Un! Flattering!! Stacy London would’ve had an embolism.

2:58 PM, ALKEK STEPS: RETURN OF THE FASHION POLICE! Ugh, was there some “Wear your ugliest outfit” contest that I wasn’t aware of going on today? Do these people dress in the dark? WHAT IS GOING ON!? Girl comes walking down the Alkek steps in a bright yellow top with a purple cami-vest thing (couldn’t really tell what was going on there) over it. Ok…I could let that go. But she had paired it with skinny jeans that were kind of loose around her thighs but skinny on her calves (think AC Slater pants!) and had light blue seams sewn down the front of either leg, from hip to ankle. Bottoming out this atrocity were pointy black boots, worn UNDER her skinny jeans. OMG. Barf.

3:06 PM, LBJSC GARAGE: TX STATE’S BANK ACCOUNT FTW! It now costs $10 to park your car in the LBJSC garage for eight hours. WTF?! Texas State, really? You hike up my tuition higher than my financial aid will pay, you charge an arm and a leg for perimeter parking and don’t run enough buses to carry everybody, you raise the price of a one-way bus ticket from Austin to San Marcos to $6 (it’s now cheaper to drive my car to San Marcos, gas-wise), AND you’re gonna charge me ten bucks to park in your garage? I hate you. Can’t I just give you my spleen, my pet unicorn, and my firstborn child and call it even? Jeezah!

So there’s my day in a nutshell. Crazy, I know! Best first day of school ever, though, because now I remember why I started this blog to begin with. It’s the ridiculous! And the awesome! And oh how I’ve missed it.

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